Welcome to another installment of Brevspread Briefs. Here are some news that you might’ve from last week, which, sadly to say, was rather rapey.
1. Curb Your Professionalism
Sometimes you don’t want professionals to be passionate about their jobs. Former Michigan State University sports doctor, USA Gymnastic team doctor, and very-expected-violator, Larry Nassar, has pleaded guilty to seven first-degree criminal sexual conduct out of one hundred cases charged against him. Currently set at 25 years of prison, his minimum sentence can go up to 40 years. One of his victim was Olympic medalist McKayla Maroney. She reported at age fifteen that Nassar prescribed sleeping pills to help her endure a flight to Tokyo where she would compete in gymnastics. When she woke up, she was in Nassar’s bedroom alone getting “a treatment.” Scary shit. You have to hope some times that people scale back their passions. That boy who always drew genitals in the classroom will one day become a professional serving the public.
2. Cunnilinguists at the White House Communication Agency
I can understand all the efforts Americans make to oppress women. All infiltration needs is a little seduction. Last week three US army members from the White House Communication Agency were reassigned after breaking curfew and allegedly having “improper contact” with foreign women during president Donald Trump’s trip to Vietnam. Adding insult to injury, Business Insider, Washington Post and NPR, added a similar situation occurred in Panama in August when four members of the US forces were caught on camera bringing women back to their hotel. With 1200 staff members, the White House Communication Agency protects the president from “eavesdropping” or to just shut the f*** up. We can learn from the story that an Asian prostitute can break down the United States 512 billion dollar military defense like HIV. Liberian dictator Muammar Gaddafi understood military standards when he hired females to protect him. While Americans have to teach their servicemen when to hit on “exotic women who surprisingly speak English,” Gaddafi skipped the entire process by hiring women.
3. After his long Journey, Pai wants to end Net Neutrality
Moving onto other underhanded jobs: Trump’s administration. After the Indian boy, Ajit Pai, sailed the sea on a skiff with a tiger and woke up from his coma, he became America’s Federal Communication Commission chairman. Last week Pai said he wanted to end net neutrality. Net neutrality protects the Internet from being regulated by Internet Service Providers where they can decide which websites load quicker. That means you might see an uptick in underaged teen pornography since senators have a tendency to sought after them, like Republican senator, Roy Moore, who tried to pick up teens at the local mall. Pai wants to go back to 1996 when companies like Google, Amazon and Facebook were starting up and regulations had a “light touch.” He wants America to return to a time when people used dial connection, and listened to the sweet melodies of being cut off by your aunt Rose in Alabama while you’re watching your underaged teen pornography. When asked about the government having access to hospital’s internet data, Pai said, “it can be a perk.” What would the government like to do with my prostate exams?
4. Biggest Weeaboo accused of Sexual Harassment Allegations
Remember that boy who was drawing genitals in your class, the one who would draw Japanese animated girls with large breasts for his friends, the one who would wear free hug t-shirts at Comic Con? He already serves the public by producing movies for Walt Disney and Pixar Animation Studio as Chief Creative Officer, John Lasseter. Last week Lasseter took a six-month sabbatical on Tuesday for sexual harassment allegations. He had been known for “grabbing, kissing and making comments about physical attributes,” according to NPR. Lasseter apologized in an email to his co workers who might have been “on the receiving end of an unwanted hug or any gesture that may have crossed the line.” While a spokesperson for Disney feels John’s apology was “sincere,” the rest of the community has to wonder if we was the person who drew “sex” in the first Lion King.