Brevspread Briefs, 5/30-6/3

BS_briefs_finals

Brevspread briefs are summaries of what happened last week. Here are some of the things you might’ve missed:  

1.Serviceman-women?

Department of Veterans Affair proposed a provision to lift the ban on sex reassignment in order to help transgender servicemen and servicewomen who might be suffering from gender dysphoria. However, some critics consider this procedure as cosmetics. In related news, researchers reported that 9 out of 10 men would rather have their fingernails painted in lemon-yellow before having their penises removed.  One participant said, “at least you can remove the paint with varnish. I don’t know if I can get my dick.” 

From Time Magazine 

2.What f-ing codes, man?

At UCLA engineer graduate Mainak Sarkar shot his professor William Klung who “cleverly stole all [Sarak’s] codes and gave it to another student.” Police said he could’ve just looked at Gamefaqs.com  to find that the code was up-down-up-down-left-right-left-right-a-b-select-start for 99 lives. Sarkar also shot his former wife although she might have known the codes.  

From Time Magazine 

3. Bad parenting

What is the cost of terrible of parenting? A 450-pound gorilla by the name of Harambe. At the Cincinnati Zoo a 3-year-old boy fell into the gorilla’s enclosure after a mother failed to watch her child for a couple of minutes. Staff from the zoo were able to get the boy out of the enclosure but then they had to shoot the gorilla dead.

From Time Magazine 

4. King Tut and +1000 HP, +35 MP, +8 Spd…

The Guardian reports that King Tut was buried next to a dagger that was made from meteorite iron. It gave King Tut +1000 HP, +35 MP, +20 Attack pts., +20 Magic pts. +30 Vigor, and +8 speed.

From Time Magazine 

5. Trump wants America to be great again in Japan

Donald Trump was upset that President Barack Obama didn’t visit Hiroshima to remind Japan that they wouldn’t have memorial day without the United States. He really wants America to be great again, which for him is around 1945. 

From Time Magazine

6.The Warrior bandwagon is back!

Since the Warriors came back after winning the 3-1 series to Okc in the Western Conference Finals, warrior fans began to untuck their dicks between their legs, and last Thursday, their cocks were in full bloom when they defeated Lebron James and the Cavaliers at Oracle arena, 108 to 89.

From My Soul

Brev Spread
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